the onion is funny

"Intelligent falling" is exactly as valid an idea as "Intelligent Design" (notice they have to capitalize everything in a failed attempt to lend weight to the term?)

happy fourth of july!

someone i just watched said "i don't think the founding fathers wanted free speech to enable people to say the f-word!"

I think they absolutely did!

So hey America!

FUCK YOU!

obscenity

I'm listening right now to Alan Keyes complaining that people shouldn't be allowed to use the word fuck because it degrades the public...something...he kind of trailed off into confusion. They're talking about Janet Jackson's nipple now.

God damn, who gives a shit?

let's scream fuck every chance we get.

durrr

Hey! this is posted later. I'm drunk. The reason I even considered a post tonight was because Annie showed up. Hadn't seen her in a while, and thought, "fuck, remember when we hung out and blogged? Remember showing her seanbaby and she laughed so hard she snorted?". Fuck yes I do.
Anyways, I'm watching the documentary "F*ck" right now, and it's kind of boring. Yes, yes, people are stupid about one arbitrarily stupid word. Fuckin' who cares? Isn't that part of the stupidity of humans?
So it's the 3rd. i don't have to be at work for three days. what do i do? sit here. drink.
i have a dvd of season 1 of "the wire" so i pop that in.
didn't do a lyric yesterday. having trouble caring.

The red lights mean you're leaving
The white one's mean returning
Tell me how this story ends
And I'll keep them fires burning

The headlights look like diamonds
The taillights burn like coals
Tell me how this story ends
Before the fires go cold

The countryside's deserted
There's no one on the farms
The suburbs all are sleeping
The earthquakes set off car alarms

All after all now we aware
All after all the time we share
There's so much fears of world,
Types of world,
Tears of world

the tumor list

OK. this is an unpleasant topic, but fuck it, I feel unpleasant right now. Let's say you have a huge tumor in your head. You have long enough to live that, after saying all your goodbyes, you'll have like a week to kill (har har!).
My question is this: providing you have all your faculties, who would you take down with you? There's a few people (hypothetically speaking of course! I'd NEVER HURT A SOUL EVER! (just kidding, I totally would. (Kidding again!))) I'd love to watch issue their death rattle. Evil pricks who feed on the hopes, dreams and good intentions of others and deserve to see hot justice rain down on them. So who's on your tumor list?
Let me know in comments. Comment anonymously if you want. And anyone who says me, come try it, bitches.

(There's a lot of important philosophical issues raised here, and I choose to ignore all of them. After hearing that a crazy homeless guy was sentenced to over four years in prison for threatening to kill Bush, I lost a lot of respect for the morality of law, and the philosophical underpinnings thereof. Fuck, change my mind.)

ameeeerica...the byoooooteeeefullll

Ah, the system works, don't it?
So a poor, presumably bipolar, HIV-positive homeless guy makes threats against the president. What do we do? Put him in federal prison for 57 months. That will solve the problem.
Who protested, by the way? Anyone?

Wed nezz dee i get to go home!

HOLY CHRIST IT SUCKS SLEEPING ON SOMEONE'S FLOOR
the poisoners are finally done at my house and i can go home. in celebration, here's a song about going on the road. I smiled more when Books threw up on Brian.

Atom and His Package
"Atom and His Pacakge"
Books my dog, the Box, Brian Sokel and Me

foxy man and the glitter picker upper
foxy man and the glitter picker upper
foxy man and the glitter picker upper

this song serves a purpose
of a character introduction
theres me a boy
in dire need of liposuction
with my pet dog books
shes clumsy and crazy
there's brian, a best friend of mine
since we were babies
and the last character
hes kind of hard to describe
hes made of ceramics
and hes got 6 sides
hes known as a box
touch it feel it green hell
there's something creepy about him
but i like him very well

and this here is a tale
of 2 boys, 1 box, 1 dog
going straight to hell
an adventure, like never before
all cuz its sunny out
and were going on tour

it was books, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me
it was books, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me

we got in the car, books was nutso like an ape
and brian unleashed one of his many bad tapes
i was in shotgun
books and box in the back seat
brian touched my thigh
and books threw up all over me

(cant stop the van)repeated

we got to the show
and read our mail
did you know mike parsell
used to be in frail
we set up our amps
and they weighed a ton
books grabbed the bass
and the box got on the drums
the lights went down
we strummed the first chord
we thought the audience could handle it
but then they, they collectively went out of their gourd

it was books, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me
it was books, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me

so then we left
we got into the car smilin
i smiled more when books
threw up on brian
and we were on for the next show
and it's over
it's over

it was books, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me
it was books, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me
it was books, my dog, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me
it was books, my dog, the box, brian, sokel, and me

I'll add some media when I can find it.

sad

With the exception

While it's not what it sounds like (the story is actually a bit worse), this quote is hilarious:

“With the exception of the cross-burning episode … I believe John Freshwater is teaching the values of the parents in the Mount Vernon school district,’’ he said.

Wowee!

wedzdee leewix

Bill Callahan is a pretty interesting musician so far. I heard his song "Vessel in Vain" over the intro scenes to the movie "Dead Man's Shoes", both of which I recommend. I've been checkin out various sites and whatnots. Apparently Callahan writes and performs (or has performed) under the name Smog, and (Smog) in parentheses, in addition to his own name. I found this album under Bill Callahan, and this song really got me going.
He's got a bit of a Nick Cave sound, not as much of a drama queen. The album is from Drag City, which has published a lot of Will Oldham.

Bill Callahan
From the Rivers to the Ocean (listen)
Woke on a Whaleheart

When you were blind, you touch things for their shape
have faith in wordless knowledge

well i can tell you about the river
or we could just get in

the body the rain made of our days before we knew

we are swimming in the river of the rains of our days before we knew
and it's hard to explain what I was doing or thinking before you

I guess I was a decent man holdin' on
followin the river from above
like a bird
have faith in wordless knowledge
and the fallen stars they flew too
and I knew they were sewing something
something well made for me and you

we are swimming in the river of the rains of our days before we knew
and it's hard to explain what I was doing or thinking before you

the city was a fist,
I lived on its wrist
and I took myself a good long look around

and the river grew higher and wider deeper and darker as I was closing in

and it led me to you which led me to say
"let's get
in"

we got in the river and it groped us
made us think of sex between us
in a time in our lives
old before we knew

We were swimming in the rivers of the rains of our days before we knew
and it's hard to explain what i was doing or thinking before you

and that beautiful thing you said
lying in bed
about all the things i could think of
at the end of the day

but of all the places my mind could go
it always comes loping back to you

we are swimming in the river of the rains of our days before we knew
so meet me in the ocean and we'll ride the waves from the river to the ocean
each wave a lunging panther
sharp-eyed and true

we are swimming in the river of the rains of our days before we knew
and it's hard to explain what i was doing or thinking before you
have faith in wordless knowledge
have faith in wordless knowledge

Couldn't find any video of this. I'd recommend listening though.

Speaking of which, Desi's band got a distribution deal, great step right there. Go be friends with her. It's good shit. When I get more of her singing I'll do a weendsdee leyerks with that.